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C.S.I. Missouri


The verdict has been handed down, and the case is now closed.

Without a fair trial you ask? Let's work through the timeline so you can see the evidence for yourselves.

The accused.

Do not let that innocent face fool you, she is a full-fledged, veggie eating machine. You all know the song "There's no Mountain High Enough...", that's her theme song. Just substitute the word fence for mountain, and sing right along.

The crime.

The complete destruction of a flourishing vegetable garden. After fighting Japanese beetles for four months, the green beans were finally producing. The cucumbers were fully in bloom again and the tomatoes were turning a lovely shade of pink. The broccoli had perfect little heads forming, and the okra was almost the same height as the gorgeous white corn stalks abundant with fat ears. Spaghetti squash and cantaloupe were in full spread out mode, and a dozen sweet watermelons were ripening on the vine.

The evidence.

One does not get an hourglass frame like this from simply grazing on ivy and leaves.

These are not dark stones, beetles, or lost grapes. No sirree, these are in fact a pile of pebbly poops. (See earlier blog for full description)

There are exactly two types of creatures on this farm that leave behind these little piles; sheep and goats. The sheep are now housed in this fantastic solar electric mesh fence (Thank you so much Premier One Supplies, you guys rock!), meaning they cannot get out and nothing can get in. Their alibi is solid.

That leaves goats.

There are three goats on this farm: Rowdy (the accused), Petunia the ditzy milk goat with horns, and Lily the milk goat extraordinaire. Lily cannot jump, her udder is too big. She just sort of ambles along happily foraging in the forest. Petunia, while capable of jumping, is not capable of breaking her tie out rope.

She is, however, capable of wrapping herself 14 times around a tree because going the opposite way to unwind is beyond

her comprehension.

These other crime photos are shocking and unedited, so viewers beware

The bare vines of the once prolific green beans, the sad stubs that used to be broccoli heads, and the bare stalks of what promised to be a banner corn yield. I could not bring myself to show the crushed skulls of the watermelons, it was just too much to bear. Now, a good detective will have noticed the obvious breach in the fence structure just behind the corn, visible in photos 1 and 3. The eye-witness.

So there you have it, the evidence has been presented and the proof is infallible. Not to mention the adorable eye-witness testimony.

That darned goat is guilty, guilty, guilty!

The sentencing.

A thicker, shorter, stronger tie-out rope with larger clasp and swivels. No grain, no horse cookies, no alfalfa treats until those saddle-bags start shrinking! And of course, daily love and brushing because after all, she is my best grazer. What can ya do?

Blessings to you all, and happy farming!

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